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The Ups and Downs: Trying to Find Strength and Energy After Life’s Unpredictable Chaos
Hello — I have been trying to publish consistently since I started this blog, but life keeps lifing, and I am just trying to embrace the fact that I cannot control the things that happen in the world around me. I generally write about a variety of things that are not centered around me, but I feel like there is someone out there who can benefit from knowing they are not alone if they are experiencing the same struggles as my family right now. — Jamie
One month ago, my life was thrown into chaos just as I was starting to regain my footing. I had been diligently working on my writing and other projects, feeling productive and hopeful about the future.
A Month of Chaos
A few days before this, my little brother Shaun and I discussed his interest in attending film school. Shaun, who had just come out of a depressive slump, was excited about pursuing script writing. I encouraged him, and I was thrilled to see him so motivated.
When my phone rang a few days later, and I saw his name, I was sure he was calling to share the good news about applying to film school. But that wasn’t it. He was calling to tell me that a mutual friend of ours had committed suicide. Shaun had spent the previous night with the friend’s family, and the shock was overwhelming. This tragedy hit hard, stirring up old PTSD and a mix of anxiety and depression.